"But I won't go to Salt Lake City." - Frank Zappa. We should've listened.
We rolled in at about 1 a.m. to have Michael's friend let us in. She was leaving at 5 a.m. to go work in a forrest or something, so I never even really met her. It was pitch black and everybody was already sleeping so I found the couch and laid there for about 2 hours trying to fall asleep. It smelled like curry and incense and there was some crazy clicking noise going on. In the morning I woke up and had no fucking clue where I was. The only thing that I recognized was the fucked up smell.
This picture pretty much sums it up. Despite what the name implies, Salt Lake City is not a real city. REPEAT: NOT A REAL CITY. It's like somebody just took 10 suburbs and crammed them together and surrounded them with mountains. There is nothing here but Starbucks, 7-11 and Wendy's. And there are about 50 of each.
We went to some skate park the first day. This was the only picture because it kind of sucked. There were a lot of bikes.
The door to Wonderland was located at this park though.
Lots of this.
Someone opened a restaurant that describes Frank Palumbo's heritage perfectly.
We went to the Olympic Oval because we didn't know what else to do.
Sweet.
This is about as exciting as it gets.
Then we got dinner. This burrito was literally the best thing about my stay in Salt Lake City. Either that or how cheap beer was.
They treat beer like its radioactive here. They were basically giving it away. I got a six pack of High Life tall cans for 4 dollars and change.
This is what the streets look like at 9:30 p.m.
We decided to go to a bar. It turns out that you have to have a membership to a bar to even get in to it though. These can be purchased for around twenty dollars, or you can purchase a temporary membership (good for two days) for between five and ten dollars. After a little research we found Bar Deluxe, which does not require a membership. When we got there though, we found out that there was an eight dollar cover charge. I'm not sure what it was for because they were covering up the pool tables at 10:30 and there were only about 5 people in the entire bar. Needless to say, we left. I tried to give this place the finger but the bouncer followed us out after he heard us bad mouthing it.
We tried a couple other bars only to find similar situations. They were also not serving people at almost every bar because they were "too intoxicated." Most of them were coherent enough to tell us to not even bother with the bars though, which seemed pretty spot on to me. I dont know what the fuck was going on in this place.
Then we found this store. They pretty much sold everything that you could ever hope to find in one store.
Porno?
Cheap beer?
Bowls?
They even sold new and used t-shirts.
We got a couple 24 oz. cans of High Life and walked around. You could literally start a fire in the street and shoot a gun a few times and then stroll away casually without getting caught. Its like a fucking ghost town at night.
After a while of trying to come up with something to do, we just ended up going back to the house and listening to Willie Nelson for about two hours while we got drunk enough to pass out.
I dont think I took any pictures for a day because this was the morning we left.
Breakfast at Dee's and we left.
We were only here for a couple days but it felt like a fucking week.
Thanks to Michael's friend I never met and her roommates for letting us stay, I guess.
Drove out to the Great Salt Lake.
Yeah right.
The lake smelled like shit. Really bad.
It had some good scenery though.
And some kind of industrial plant or mine right across the street.
Someone was crushing beers in the parking lot.
Fuck you to Salt Lake City as a whole.
We got real bored so we went to a pawn shop that we saw earlier. They were selling some Esteban guitars.
This was the house we stayed in.
Semi-offensive mural?
Dutch Oven Buffet.
Vegas is next.
This picture pretty much sums it up. Despite what the name implies, Salt Lake City is not a real city. REPEAT: NOT A REAL CITY. It's like somebody just took 10 suburbs and crammed them together and surrounded them with mountains. There is nothing here but Starbucks, 7-11 and Wendy's. And there are about 50 of each.
We went to some skate park the first day. This was the only picture because it kind of sucked. There were a lot of bikes.
The door to Wonderland was located at this park though.
Lots of this.
Someone opened a restaurant that describes Frank Palumbo's heritage perfectly.
We went to the Olympic Oval because we didn't know what else to do.
Sweet.
This is about as exciting as it gets.
Then we got dinner. This burrito was literally the best thing about my stay in Salt Lake City. Either that or how cheap beer was.
They treat beer like its radioactive here. They were basically giving it away. I got a six pack of High Life tall cans for 4 dollars and change.
This is what the streets look like at 9:30 p.m.
We decided to go to a bar. It turns out that you have to have a membership to a bar to even get in to it though. These can be purchased for around twenty dollars, or you can purchase a temporary membership (good for two days) for between five and ten dollars. After a little research we found Bar Deluxe, which does not require a membership. When we got there though, we found out that there was an eight dollar cover charge. I'm not sure what it was for because they were covering up the pool tables at 10:30 and there were only about 5 people in the entire bar. Needless to say, we left. I tried to give this place the finger but the bouncer followed us out after he heard us bad mouthing it.
Then we found this store. They pretty much sold everything that you could ever hope to find in one store.
Porno?
Cheap beer?
Bowls?
We got a couple 24 oz. cans of High Life and walked around. You could literally start a fire in the street and shoot a gun a few times and then stroll away casually without getting caught. Its like a fucking ghost town at night.
I dont think I took any pictures for a day because this was the morning we left.
Breakfast at Dee's and we left.
There was a flash blizzard in Wyoming. I couldn't even see the road and had to pull over.
Here is Michael making a stupid face about it.
Windshield got frozen.
Stopped at Cruel Jacks.
They had some solid gear.
And this guy's pony tail.
But most importantly, the Macy Gray Live in Vegas DVD. Tight.
The park...
You can't really tell how big it is, but it's huge.
This is the Denver Park resident juggalo. A girl that was with him told us that she went to Woodward and that "it was hella tight." He traded a little bit of "Orange Kush" mixed with some "Kind Bud" plus eight bucks for a board. He also recommended a decent spot for lunch.
I noticed this next to the bathroom. Awesome.
We're in pop country.
I also noticed the coffin shaped pool that we could've been enjoying.
Bummer.
Our monster truck had to make it all the way across Nebraska and half way into Colorado to before we reached Denver.
A lot more of this.
A lot more... Look at all those amber waves of grain.
At least the speed limit was reasonable.
Yep.
Michael has the bladder of a small child, but its ok because I get to check out a lot of truck stops and see all of the jacked shit they sell.
I was in luck. I've been looking for a new Mummy Dagger for so long.
Then the GPS sent us on a wild goose chase. We were trying to find places that sold fireworks, but it kept sending us to people's houses. We did find this viking biker sculpture though. Pretty bad ass.
And this.
More driving. We listened to R. Kelly almost the whole way through Nebraska, it was the only thing that made it bearable.
Stopped again. There were at least 25 cats hanging out at this gas station. I threw something away and one of them launched out of the trash can like it was spring loaded.
Basically living it.
Got to the Motel 6 in Denver. Blood on the chairs.
Michale used the trash bag to cover it up.
Hotel cooler.
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