"I'l Do Anything For You..." (11/11 - 11/13)

"But I won't go to Salt Lake City." - Frank Zappa. We should've listened.

We rolled in at about 1 a.m. to have Michael's friend let us in. She was leaving at 5 a.m. to go work in a forrest or something, so I never even really met her. It was pitch black and everybody was already sleeping so I found the couch and laid there for about 2 hours trying to fall asleep. It smelled like curry and incense and there was some crazy clicking noise going on. In the morning I woke up and had no fucking clue where I was. The only thing that I recognized was the fucked up smell.

This picture pretty much sums it up. Despite what the name implies, Salt Lake City is not a real city. REPEAT: NOT A REAL CITY. It's like somebody just took 10 suburbs and crammed them together and surrounded them with mountains. There is nothing here but Starbucks, 7-11 and Wendy's. And there are about 50 of each.

We went to some skate park the first day. This was the only picture because it kind of sucked. There were a lot of bikes.

The door to Wonderland was located at this park though.

Lots of this.

Someone opened a restaurant that describes Frank Palumbo's heritage perfectly.

We went to the Olympic Oval because we didn't know what else to do.

Sweet.

This is about as exciting as it gets.

Then we got dinner. This burrito was literally the best thing about my stay in Salt Lake City. Either that or how cheap beer was.

They treat beer like its radioactive here. They were basically giving it away. I got a six pack of High Life tall cans for 4 dollars and change.

This is what the streets look like at 9:30 p.m.

We decided to go to a bar. It turns out that you have to have a membership to a bar to even get in to it though. These can be purchased for around twenty dollars, or you can purchase a temporary membership (good for two days) for between five and ten dollars. After a little research we found Bar Deluxe, which does not require a membership. When we got there though, we found out that there was an eight dollar cover charge. I'm not sure what it was for because they were covering up the pool tables at 10:30 and there were only about 5 people in the entire bar. Needless to say, we left. I tried to give this place the finger but the bouncer followed us out after he heard us bad mouthing it.

We tried a couple other bars only to find similar situations. They were also not serving people at almost every bar because they were "too intoxicated." Most of them were coherent enough to tell us to not even bother with the bars though, which seemed pretty spot on to me. I dont know what the fuck was going on in this place.

Then we found this store. They pretty much sold everything that you could ever hope to find in one store.

Porno?

Cheap beer?

Bowls?

They even sold new and used t-shirts.

We got a couple 24 oz. cans of High Life and walked around. You could literally start a fire in the street and shoot a gun a few times and then stroll away casually without getting caught. Its like a fucking ghost town at night.

After a while of trying to come up with something to do, we just ended up going back to the house and listening to Willie Nelson for about two hours while we got drunk enough to pass out.

I dont think I took any pictures for a day because this was the morning we left.

Breakfast at Dee's and we left.

We were only here for a couple days but it felt like a fucking week.
Thanks to Michael's friend I never met and her roommates for letting us stay, I guess.